Coastal Point photos • Shaun M. Lambert: Operation SEAs the Day alumni Alexandra (right) and Vicki (left) give each other an emotional hug while discussing what the week-long beach vacation has meant for their families.“I don’t know what we expected, but I know it was nothing like what we received,” said Vicki, whose family attended Operation SEAs the Day as a Very Important Family (VIF) last year. “It was so overwhelmingly generous… It just completely, completely blew us away.”
The mission of Operation SEAs the Day is “to organize and facilitate a beach-week event for our wounded soldiers and their families as a means of showing our appreciation for their service and sacrifice. [To provide] a community-based gesture of support will be comforting and help ease their transition back into civilian life.”
The fourth installment of Warrior Beach Week 2016 ran Sept. 6-11 and provided 25 wounded veterans and their families the opportunity to enjoy a beach vacation.
Vicki and her Army veteran husband, Adam, of Lancaster, Pa., returned to Bethany Beach this year with their family, serving as alumni for the event.
“I was hoping… I mean, who wouldn’t want to come to the beach?” said Adam. “We were able to relax and really able to do our thing last year. This is a way to give back to the program, because now we can pay it back and help the new families have a good time, like we did. I think that was very important.”
“A family we’re assisting, the veteran can’t be left alone. [His wife] hasn’t had time to herself in years. So she asked if we wouldn’t mind being with him so she could go to the spa day. Absolutely,” added Vicki. “You know, if somebody who hasn’t be able to be by themselves in years… we feel really grateful to be able to provide that for her so she can get the self-care she needs.”
Alumni family Alexandra and Marine Corps veteran Noe of Stafford, Va., returned to Bethany after first attending as VIFs last summer.
“What we received was nothing we had expected — it was much more,” said Alexandra. “We didn’t know there was an opportunity to come back. So when we got notification of it, we couldn’t say no. It’s a way to put in our 2 cents and help the organization. Coming back as alumni, it helps you connect with your own family. You feel that sense of purpose. You’re able to help other families who need that assistance.”
During Warrior Beach Week, veterans and their families are given a home to stay in, its use donated by the owner, as well as a welcome bag with coupons and a refrigerator full of food.
“Last year, the house was nice and big,” said 8-year-old Olivia, the daughter of Adam and Vicki. “It was really pretty. If you opened this one back door to the deck, you could see the beach.”
“Last year, our host family was the mayor of Bethany Beach, and our house was in Sea Colony,” said 18-year-old Nicholas of Denton, Md., whose dad served in the Army. “They went a bit overboard on the grocery shopping. I think we had about five of everything. This year, we have a little condo by the beach.”
“Last year, our house had an elevator in it! It was a super-big house; it was awesome,” added 12-year-old Noelia, Alexandra and Noe’s daughter.
Throughout the week, families are able to take advantage of a welcome reception, paddleboarding, tennis, golf and more, all at no charge. The families can take part in as many or as few of the activities as they choose.
“You can sign up for tennis or horseback riding, but if something happens… Like yesterday, I was overwhelmed a little. I just stayed home. I think that’s great, because there are other retreats where you do this and then this…” said Adam, “whereas, here, you can do this, but you don’t have to. Then you are really, truly able to relax with your family.”
“It’s fun having a veteran dad, because we get to go on all these trips and do stuff with our family,” said Emma, Vicki and Adam’s 10-year-old daughter. “I was pretty excited. We went horseback riding last year, and I was excited for it this year.”
During the family barbecue at Sea Colony, the families were able to meet a baby kangaroo with the help of Barn Hill Preserve.
“There was a big party last night that was fun,” said Nicholas. “We got to hold a baby kangaroo at the party… last year was a skunk.”
“It’s head would pop out of the little bag,” added Olivia of the kangaroo. Each family was able to get a free photo of their encounter with the kangaroo to take home as a keepsake.
As for their favorite OSTD moments, the kids each had their own.
“We went out to Grotto’s Pizza and had pizza, and then after that we had ice cream. Today, we did tennis. Yesterday, we did paddleboarding and horseback riding,” said Emma, noting horseback riding was her favorite activity.
Olivia said that paddleboarding was her favorite activity. She can stand up on (and has fallen off of) the paddleboard but still enjoys it.
“My favorite is the ‘Polar Express’ movie at the train, because — hey — free food and a movie,” said Nicholas with a laugh.
“I liked the excursions last year, because we went tubing,” said Noelia. “Yesterday, we went to the beach and to the pool. And then, today, we did tennis. It’s fun to spend time with your family.”
The weeklong respite gives wounded veterans and their families the opportunity to get away from VA appointments and doctor’s appointments and just relax.
“Yesterday, we were on the beach and he was playing with [our daughter] on the sand… It was just the moment, embracing their smile,” recalled Alexandra. “They were relaxed and didn’t have anything to worry about. We don’t have to get to any type of appointment or worry about a bill at home. We can be in the moment.”
“One of the things I like about this is there’s so much to do, but then again, you don’t have to do anything,” added Adam. “You’re able to take a week off and say, ‘What can we do to have a good time?’”
Even for those in the community who don’t donate directly to the organization, there are still ways to be involved during the week — perhaps the biggest being the Heroes’ Welcome Motorcade.
During the motorcade, the VIFs travel by bus, escorted by area law enforcement and first-responders, to the Freeman Stage at Bayside for dinner and a concert. Along the way, the families are greeted by community members donning red, white and blue attire, waving Old Glory, standing along streets lined with welcome signs thanking them for their service.
“You get on the bus and you think, ‘OK, we’re going to follow each other and get dinner and hear a concert.’ But it really brings you to tears to see people pulled over on the side of the highway, waving flags and holding signs, saying, ‘Thank you,’” said Vicki. “It gives me goosebumps just thinking about it.”
“It’s cool, because you go onto the bus and you ride down the street, and there are people watching…. Last year, there was a feast,” added her daughter, Emma.
Aside from the motorcade, some people in the community have taken the time individually to stop and thank the VIFs for their service during their stay in Bethany.
“Last year, when we came for the first time, he would have people come up to him and say, ‘Thank you.’ And he stayed quiet for the first few times and then he turned to me and said, ‘What do you say?’ I’m like, ‘Thank you for your support’? You never experience that,” said Alexandra. “It’s almost like you need a little orientation class before you come. This is what to expect. We’re just so humbled by it.”
“I didn’t join for any of this,” said Noe. “I joined because it was something I wanted to do… But people in this community here gave me a genuine thank-you. You just don’t know how to respond.”
“We were walking down the street the other day, and we wear these little tags. Some people were stopped at a stop sign — it was an older couple. They said, ‘Welcome to Bethany Beach, and thank you for your service,” said Adam.
“You know, they didn’t know us from Adam. You get that a lot around here, when the people from this area recognize you’re a VIF, Very Important Family. They step out of their comfort zone to say something. We were in a little store, and the ladies working there made us feel good. We were just buying a bathing suit, but they made sure everything was right. You just don’t get that anywhere else. It’s amazing.”
What makes Operation SEAs the Day so special, it seems, is that it embraces the whole family, in hopes of supporting them following an injury.
“This is just an awesome program,” said Vicki. “One of the slogans of Wounded Warrior Project is, ‘The greatest casualty is being forgotten,’ and it’s true. You serve in the military — no matter what branch you’re in — and everyone wants to support you then, you’re doing great. Then you come back home and have all of these injuries, whether they’re physical or invisible, and nobody cares anymore; nobody is there to support you when you need it the most.”
“There’s a billboard on the side of the road driving down to Quantico, and I think it’s Wounded Warrior Project, too, and it says, ‘The real war starts at home,’ and it’s true,” added Alexandra. “They’re trained to fight a battle while they’re away… They prepare you for war, but they don’t prepare you to come home. It’s a different battle at home.”
During the week, there are coffee-talk meetings for caregivers, with a separate meeting for veterans, to offer support to one another and share resources.
“Last year, by the end of the event, we left with a nice list of resources. There’s a Facebook page also that we were able to communicate through and keep it touch,” said Alexandra.
“I was really excited to come back,” added Noe. “This is our chance to help other vets that are in our shoes. We’re all in different stages of where we’re at, but we’ve all been through it. So we might be able to connect with another family that is about to go to that stage we just went through… We can give them resources.
“It’s just about trying to connect with them and say, ‘Look — you’ll be fine. We’re fine. Even though it feels like you’re not, you are.’
“It’s just about getting out there and not feeling like you have to do it alone, because you don’t. Just realize we were all there and we all needed help, too.”
Nicholas, whose father is dealing with the residual effects of his injuries, said it was “interesting” to have a veteran as a parent.
“When your parent, such as my dad, has injuries — he has back issues… his head doesn’t work exactly the same as others. There are moments where he’s OK somedays, and other days he’s not.”
“I think coming here also gives more education to our children,” added Vicki. “We see families with different disabilities than what we have in our family, and it really broadens their spectrum of physical disabilities and invisible injuries. I think it’s great that everyone here deals with some sort of injury or disability in some way, and nobody feels like the oddball out. All the kids have a parent who is wounded in some way, and they all connect through that.
“There’s good days and bad days, and everybody understands that. You don’t have to justify why you need to stay home or why you need the seat in the back with your back facing the wall because you need to see the door. Everyone understands why you need what you need. You don’t feel like you have to defend yourself.”
What families experience while vacationing in Bethany Beach is not the norm, according to the VIFs.
“When you get out of the military, they shake your hand and they say, ‘Thanks for your service,’ and that’s it,” said Vicki. “They don’t give you any sort of resources for anything — if you need counseling or financial assistance. There’re programs available, but they don’t tell you anything.”
“When we came home, the families were the big ones were waiting for you and have signs. But other than going into the gymnasium on post, where the families are waiting and the post commander welcomes you back, there’s really not much,” Adam said.
“It’s weird. It’s almost like a business trip; you go and you come back. No one really says anything to you about it. The families, of course, put up with the deployments and what goes on during the deployments.”
Vicki said that’s common for those serving active duty and living in a military community.
“Everybody is doing it, so there’s not like a big heroes’ welcome, because your neighbor’s away and your friend’s away.”
“It’s really nothing to people outside the military family,” Adam said, emphasizing he wasn’t trying to speak poorly of civilians. “You get those couple of old Vietnam veterans that come support you because they didn’t get that and want you to feel that. But other than that, it’s really like a business trip — you go, you take care of business, the family welcomes you back, and that’s about it.”
“As time goes by, people don’t even realize we’re still at war,” added Alexandra, “that there are men and women still out there fighting. I think everybody is so united when it first happens, but as time goes, by people start forgetting about it. I think that’s what hurts us families, who still have connections…”
What can civilians do to support those who are fighting for their everyday, basic freedoms? Educate themselves about what it’s like for those in the military before, during and after deployment, said Adam.
“Civilians could educate themselves on what actually happens to a family after military service, after the service member comes back from war. I think there’s not enough education/information out there. I just don’t think people really know what actually goes on.
“I think if people could educate themselves more, there would more of this. I’m not saying there isn’t any support, but I think the support would be better. I think there would be a much better support system.”
“Emulate what Bethany Beach is doing,” added Noe. “Honestly, I’ve never seen a community like this any other place. You can feel it’s genuine — out of the goodness of their heart. You can feel they actually care about you and are here to thank you for the sacrifices you made — not only you, but the families, because the families make sacrifices, too.”
The families thanked the organizers of Operation SEAs the Day, and the community that welcomed them with open arms.
“Just a big thanks to the founder of the organization and all the volunteers, the sponsors. We cannot express how grateful we are,” said Alexandra. “They left us speechless.”
“A thank-you is not enough,” added Noe.
To learn more about Operation SEAs the Day, visit Operationseastheday.org.