In my life I’ve celebrated 25 Father’s Days, but this year’s will be the first of its kind.
This weekend, my brother and I will be spending Father’s Day finalizing moving my father’s belongings out of his home, as he is no longer able to live on his own.
Back in January, my father had a number of heart attacks, which led to him having to undergo quadruple bypass surgery. Due to complications following the surgery, he had a stroke — well, four, actually. Since then, every day has been Father’s Day.
It’s funny how one single event can change your life completely. Although my brain didn’t have a stroke, I’ve been affected indirectly because of it.
My father’s right-hemisphere strokes have caused him to have paralysis on his left side, to the point where he is unable to walk and care for himself. He now has permanent partial blindness, known as hemianopia, which has impacted his ability to read and write. He also has comprehension issues, and his personality has changed.
Because of the severity of this, our roles have now been reversed. My brother and I have now become parents to him. We pay bills, schedule doctor appointments, help him bathe — you name it. We try to have him eat healthy meals and try to comfort him when he’s down. We cried during his first haircut and his first assisted steps since the strokes.
We’re the advocates for his health and wellbeing, just as he was for us when we were young. All we want to do is protect him and help him get better. It seemed daunting at first, but we’ve come to embrace it.
It hasn’t been an easy road, but, throughout the journey, he has been teaching us along the way. My brother and I have learned how to be patient, how to be assertive. We’ve learned how to ask for help and when to say no. We’ve experienced overwhelming support and love from family, friends and strangers that we didn’t expect. And, from all of that, we’ve grown.
Through his struggles, my father has helped me grow over these last few months, and for that I am grateful. I now know what my true priorities are.
Whether he knows it or not, my father has shown me that life is precious and fleeting, and therefore we should treasure every moment — not waste our time sweating the small stuff.
The greatest gift he’s given us is unconditional love. It’s his love for me and my brother that has made us who we are today. We are stronger, more self-assured than ever before. We know because of this experience that we can get through anything. And I hope our love has done the same for him.
I never expected to have to deal with something like this, at least in this stage of my life. I’ve always looked at my parents as invincible, all-knowing beings, and now I know they are not immortal.
We all have things going on in our lives — difficulties, stresses, trials and tribulations. But this Sunday, we should take a step back and be thankful for the little things that make our fathers special.
Although the future is unclear for us, as he may never be able to live on his own or work again, it doesn’t matter… Not really. What matters is that we can take the time to truly appreciate him as a person and as the father who will never stop teaching us how to endure and, most importantly, how to love.